Okay, guys, I am staring at this empty page right now and I have nooo damn clue what to write about. Blogger's block again, I guess. Plus I am having some intense convo with my friend and the last thing I can do right now is concentrate. So, I'm just dropping off my song with an inappropriate name
Yo, what's up?
As you hopefully know, today is Tuesday. So, say "hi" to another Young Adult blog post.
The question that I often ask my friends and myself is: what is it you value in people the most? I used to think it was loyalty, honesty, bla bla bla. No. A couple of days ago I realized that I am grateful to a totally different category of people. Those, who can accept me the way I am.
And trust me I am very, very and very far from being a well-rounded individual. I have some pretty messed up past, pretty messed up views on life and certain aspects of it. I know it cuz I can feel it: sometimes I say things that pretty much burn the tip of my tongue before I even spit them out but I can't change the way I think or feel about something, can I? It is what it is.
Therefore, I am really lucky to have people, that I can share all this mess with and still feel like it's okay. I mean I still get that "Shit, what am I talking about?!" feeling but that's not because I am afraid of being misunderstood. No, it's because I regret having these views on stuff.
I know a lot of people say "I will love you no matter what kind of person you are". Great, thanks, but that doesn't mean you won't have any unrealistic expectations about me. Cuz most people do. And you know what is killing me? Seeing how hurt they get when they realize that you can't be that thing they want you to be.
I gave up on having expectations about people loooong ago. It's very simple: no expectations = no disappointments. Try it someday, you might like it.
And again: just care less!
I am out!
ZerO To The Bone
Good morning! Guess who has just written a song? Nope, you're wrong Me!
So here's the deal. I have one ex-best friend, who is being a total bitch cuz she has been coming to my dreams about three times a week lately. I haven't talked to her for about a year - we stopped communicating in the middle of last August after 12 years of being best friends. Yep, pretty messed up stuff. Anyways, "I Am Not Ready To Die Yet" has been the only song that was written for her... until today. I had another very warm dream with her starring in the main role, so I woke up and started singing some random phrases while making myself coffee. Then I grabbed a pen and wrote these phrases down. Here's what I got:
Yo, kiddos! How ya doing?
Have you ever waken up in that "I wanna punch someone in face" mood? Well, that's how I woke up today. And my light annoying headache in the background didn't make me see the world as a piece of heaven either. Anyways so I was just sitting there drinking my coffee hoping it will pass and I won't be feeling pissed off for the rest of the day when all of a sudden I turn one song on and... I am super cool, super chill and I just don't give a single damn about anything in my life. Amazing feeling of being myself.
See, that's just how I am: I don't really care about stuff. However, when this "stuff" keeps happening and falling on my head in a very insisting manner I start to give in and think about it too much.
This song was just so free, ironic and cool that it kinda reminded me that life is much much easier once you start giving less damn about random shit.
Just think about it. Why should we cry? Why should we listen to sad songs? Why should we write them in the first place? They never change anything, so why waste meaningless words and not needed feelings? And everything else can relate to that: work, dissatisfaction, etc.
So this is an advice I give you from my personal experience: care less. And be cool like me
P.S: here's the song. Sorry it's in Russian:
I am out.
Forever at your service
ZerO To The Bone
I know I haven't written anything for a very long time and I have ignored my responsibilities to post every Tuesday but hey, guys, listen up. It's my freaking summer break. All I wanna do is sleep, watch movies, write music and chill with my people. I don't want to write anything cuz I just don't. I am very relaxed, not caring and mellow just as I am supposed to be. I am good here. All I ask for is a little respect of my laziness
Anyways, I guess I am back and I am blogging tonight. And I am blogging about my thoughts on feelings cuz I've been having talks on that subject a lot lately so I have something to say.
The very first thing that I don't understand about some people is their manner of always saying "We" when they are in a relationship. Like "We think", "We might see", "We love/feel". And the last one is just great. Feelings like love/hate/liking/etc. they aren't something you can have at the same time. You can't share the exact same feeling on everything. Phrases like that are ridiculous and I just refuse to understand. You are together, you love each other, you are soul mates - it's great. But you can't just decide for the other person what they feel about stuff.
Second thing I don't understand or more like refuse to understand is the phrase "my feelings are wrong". This is an universal bullshit. Feelings can't be controlled, they can't be made up. They are born in your heart naturally and you aren't the one to blame for you having them. Call goddamn mother nature and tell her your complaints.
Again, there's no such thing as "right". To you "right" is something that fits in the frames of your morals and principles, to me it's something that fits in frames of mine. And these two "rights" can be totally different things. See, now logically, if there's no right then there's no wrong. Therefore your feelings aren't wrong, they just cause an inner conflict but that doesn't mean you can't or not supposed to have them. We constantly face and experience these inner struggles so why would you make that one any different?
Now moving on to the subject of likes/crushes/in loves/loves. In my opinion you can have lots of likes and crushes (just like I told you I do haha). Like is when you are attracted to a person on a physical or mental level, when you like seeing them, talking to them. Crush is when you think about a person a lot, miss them, want them to be around often, when your body goes crazy and stuff.
Being in love. Lots of people confuse it with love but these are totally different feelings. Being in love is like having a very strong crush, carrying and worrying about the person, needing the person. Being tolerant, patient and forgiving in some ways. It's spontaneous and crazy, makes your head go round.
Love. Oh, God, where do I begin. Love is amazing. It's not spontaneous. You can't fight it no matter how hard you try, no matter how hurt you are. You will forgive everything that you thought you would never forgive and sacrifice everything you have, even the most valuable things. Why? Because nothing else really matters.
You can be in love without loving and you can love someone without being in love. Being in love is not a permanent feeling - it comes, leaves and comes again and while it does that you can have likes and crushes. But when you love... hm. I don't think I will write about that.
This post is getting too long... Oh, well. Gonna stop right here, I guess.
Take care and enjoy the rest of the summer!
ZerO To The Bone
"Well, to say you stop loving someone you once loved more than anything else in the world...would be a lie. But you move on, don't you? You have to move on."